Hello again, gossip gobbers! This is Kevyn Gyle reporting, printing from a secluded area outside of the ruins of Riversmet, firmly in the Khadoran controlled portion of the nation formerly known as Llael, and thus in a relatively safe position to distribute our latest scandal sheets. That’s right, while our Khadoran Konquerors may not have been particularly happy with the exposesof our last installment, I have little doubt they’ll find nothing to be offended by in our latest installment, as we turn our spyglass around to peer into the private lives of the major players in that other power vying to place a yoke around the Llaelese neck, the Protectorate of Menoth!
And what better way to keep our Khardic Kustodians happy than by opening with an apology? In my last column, I implied that Dark Champion and Umbrean Übermensch Vlad Tzepesci was making some Dangerous Liasons with a Masked Menite. Well, I pride myself on accuracy in my scandal, so when new facts come to light, I have no choice but to revise my positions. It seems that our Vlad has not, in fact, been yielding to any of his soul’s Dark Impulses, but rather quite the opposite, as it seems that our Prince of Hearts has been subject to the unwanted attentions of a high-powered Stalker in Scrutator’s robes. Who? Well, I hesitate to name names when dealing with Known Torturers, especially high-ranking ones, as they tend to be fairly vindictive, and I certainly wouldn’t want one of them to… Vindict-Us. (wink)
Yes, it seems a certain Vice-Scrutator has been indulging in some of his own lately, and his concern for this Stallion Among Horselords goes a bit beyond his customary vigilance over the state of heathen souls! It’s true; even though concern for heavenly bodies is more to the taste of Cyrissists than Menites, it seems that our ever Vigilant Vicar has found himself simply starstruck by our Vlad, and is risking wandering from the True Path indulging in his vices, much to the Dark Prince’s lamentation. Word of advice, Vicky: playing the stalker is for Cryxian bonejacks. A priest ought to conduct himself with a bit more dignity.
In less pervy tales of Protectorating, what is the story between High Paladin Dartan Vilmon and Jailbait Floating Embodiment of God’s Will on Caen the Harbinger of Menoth? Though it’s on the QT, everyone knows how she took a Voyle-Sized punch for him on the chin during the street-to-street fighting between Caspia and Sul, and rumour has it that that hasn’t been the last fisting she’s taken from The Dart-Board since! (Honestly, sometimes these things just write themselves!) Vilmon’s been in penitent seclusion in Sul since Voyle’s death while the Harbinger’s been since called North, but sources inside the city say it’s just a matter of time before the boy can hold out no more and heeds the Crusader’s (booty) Call. After all, he’s not made of Stone and Mortar! No word on whether or not making love to the prophet of your god is in violation of a Paladin’s code of honour, but here’s wishing those kids the best of luck and hoping that their Weird Angry-Dad God isn’t too made at them for grabbing what happiness they can on this side of Caen. Guided Hand, indeed!
And speaking of the South, while the Hierarch of the Menite Temple cools his heels in Llael, what Firebrand “Priestess” has he got maintaining his interests in the Protectorate Proper? No Points for guessing it’s Feora, but who is the mysterious Man in Black with the Eyepatch she’s been making time with? If I wouldn’t even print the name of Vice Scrutator V________ above, you can damn well bet I wouldn’t even think of naming names here, but suffice it to say that with Voyle buried, he may be the most powerful man on the face of Western Immoren today, and he’s looking to take back what’s his. Word on the two’s relationship is vague right now, but given the way our Secret Sorceress doesn’t play well with others, compunded by our Man in Black’s noted and historic distrust of Witches (and if our One-Eyed Mystery Man believes the title “Priestess” denotes an actual divine origin to our Protector of the Flame’s magic, I have a Bridge to the Veldt to sell him), the jury’s still out on what exactly is going on between the Fiery Fascist and Would-be Kingslayer. It doesn’t take a member of the Glomring, however, to tell that it doesn’t bode well for anyone or anything. Altogether though, it’s anyones guess how these two will manage to put aside their mutual distrusts to get anything accomplished; Feora’s been Burned by powerful men before, and as for the other one… well, I assume he’s be the first to tell you that he knows all about the wrath of a woman Skorned.
Well, that’s it for this instalment of The Kevyn Gyle Files. We’ll be back within the fortnight, printing from another secret location in the Khadoran zone and aiming our eye at our own people in the Llaelese resistance, asking the question “Hey, Shouldn’t we be Free by Now?”
This has been Kevyn Gyle, reminding you that the fates of nations hang on the balance of arms and secrecy, so keep it all… hush hush.
